So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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