I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
