So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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