I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
