dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
