It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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