He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
