I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
well you can't waste a boner
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
