I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
