I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
