Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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