She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I want a musical about memes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
