One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
