she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
