So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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