ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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