One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
