Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What a dumb baby whore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
