Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
