I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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