I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And then he peed in my hair
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