Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
