So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
