pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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