...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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