I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
