im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
