The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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