I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
