i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize