just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
