Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You are a genius and a whore.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
