that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
