All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
