if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
