I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
