this beer tastes like vomit already
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
