She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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