PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
