Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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