I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
