My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He had one of those small greek statue penises
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
