laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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