Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
