I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
