btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i came on her dog
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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