We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
