You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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