The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
