can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
